Learn more about the benefits of standardized design. (Editor's note: James Hershberger... Dropping rhymes on Bush like bom

Though I'm sure no one but me cares, today is a fascinating anniversary in world affairs. In 1718, Blackbeard the pirate died for his crimes when he was caught then stabbed and shot more than 25 times. In 1922, Howard Carter opened the crypt containing King Tut in the land of Egypt. The whole nation felt like they lost their identity in 1963 with the death of John F. Kennedy.

But the most important event everyone here should know is that I was born more than 20 years ago. I'm king for today, and I'll claim my throne, and everyone who doesn't care can leave me alone. Tonight, I'll open my presents and blow out 22 candles and think about all of our country's problems and scandals.

We were all fooled by lies of Iraq's WMD, but the only people still fooled are the base of the GOP. Bush's approval rating is at 35 percent and declining, and I get headaches from all the Republicans whining. Liberals, who called it long ago, are trying to be humble as we all sit and watch the president's legacy crumble.

He lost a lot of support when he started naming names for the Supreme Court. Harriet Miers inspired dissent even from the far right, so Bush wisely removed her from the national spotlight. Next, he put up Judge Samuel Alito, yet another nominee who sucks like a mosquito.

We don't need a new person on the court who supports constitutional distortion by saying a husband must sign-off before his wife has an abortion.

He also allowed justice to get hit again by endorsing machine gun ownership for private citizens. Now, I appreciate our right to bear arms, I believe having guns is fine, but I think automatics are where we should draw the line. I mean, what if the shooters had used M16s at Columbine?

Then Patrick Fitzgerald caused a bunch of excitement when he and team handed Scooter Libby an indictment. The Vice-President's own chief of staff suspected of lying and justice obstruction, but a lot of people think this is just the introduction.

Scooter and Karl Rove both leaked on the press like it was a urinal and so did someone else according to The Wall Street Journal. Reporter-legend Bob Woodward claims another official gave him Valerie Plame's name who wasn't Libby or Rove, thus adding a new twist to the Plamegate probe.

Other Republicans who might be on a prison's guest list include lobbyist Jack Ambramoff and Senator Bill Frist. Tom DeLay, a.k.a. the Hammer, also might see the slammer, but at least he'll win Cell Block C's award for best grammar.

Bush fans get mad when liberals tell the public the truth. They criticize them in a manner that's vulgar and uncouth. But I'll defend the right's right to dissent because I agree with Voltaire though I still make fun of them like I'm Stephen Colbert.

I find that conservatives get really unkind when liberal celebrities try to speak their minds. But I agree that what Kanye West said on the air really wasn't fair because Bush really doesn't care about anyone who's not a millionaire. It doesn't matter if they are black, white, Asian or Hispanic, the past five years have been a financial panic with the economy sinking down like the Titanic.

Say this and Republicans get bitchy like they're in a sorority but poverty is not a priority to for the "moral majority." A poor family is on their own if they have a sick daughter or son, but when America is at war we're supposed to stand as one? The GOP wants unity in the community when it benefits them and their politicians, but when those in need ask for help, they refuse to listen. Hypocrisy has become a great conservative tradition.

So I just call biased BS whenever I come across it. I turn off Fox News like it's a dripping faucet. I try to resist against all the Republiganda even though it comes out fresh and hot daily like rice at Little Panda. There are flaws in the news, and you can't ignore it. But the truth is out there, we just have to fight for it.

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